I woke up this morning feeling different. I had not felt like this in years and I was not sure how to handle it. I felt good and alive. Empty of burden and abandoned by pain. My conversation with Ronald Batzcavich really helped me realize all that I have missed out of life in the past five decades. Strange how that works. A man younger than you embracing you with wisdom and knowledge. today will be a good day. It will be a day that ends all my pain and suffering. I will do away with all the things that I have used in my life to cover up my disadvantages. Louis A can stay somewhere while I roam the streets freely. That bottle of booze I had purchased earlier in the week will stay locked away in my bag. Sure I am blind but I don't need a dog to see. I might hate my current situation but getting drunk is not going to take that away. I want today to be pure. I walked down the street. Not slow, nor fast. people would move for me cause I sure the hell cant and try to avoid them. There might be a streetlamp or a trash can jutting from the ground but that's ok. When I heard other footsteps around me I turned and said "hi" and "good morning". I got responses from everyone I passed and some weird guy named Robert started following me. I had know idea what that was about. I don't know why anyone would follow me I don't even know where I am going. I could get them killed if they were to close behind. Robert freaked me out a bit but I was on a quizzical high. I felt the terrain of the side walk get progressively bumpier. I must be on Main St. and nearing the corner to Palaski Ave. I heard a bus go by. It must be one of the big yellow ones people were always talking about. And I heard two dogs barking. one deep and loud, the other high and annoying. I could picture the dogs one much bigger than the other just staring each other down. Their owners trying to pull them apart and continue on their desired destination. Music played in one of the shops and I thought back to my days in the band and the camaraderie I had. The side walk took an unexpected dip, almost like a small step, and I barely caught myself. I took a few more steps and saw white. The darkness was gone only to be relplaced by a bright light.

The park was loud, cold, and dark. Small kids ran around playing tag, stirring up the wood chips and mating down the damp grass. My head found its way to a man instructing a boy, or his son, on how to throw a baseball.
My eyes opened;darkness. I try to open them again, if that is possible; same result. What had happened to the bright lights from earlier in the night? And the plain, pail white walls of the hospital? The nice, soft tone of a nurses voice just made me more angry. I could not see the woman talking to me nor would I ever see or hear the now deceased members of my band.
The yell of a young boy breaks my concentration and blank stare into the abyss. The yells later lead to my understanding the boy playing baseball got hit in the face, which had swelled and given him a black eye.
I continued to sit but was startled when a man walked up and started talking to me. His voice unfamiliar but his tone was soothing. He intoduced himself as Ronald Batzcavich, and asked if he could sit and talk. I had no problem with it, but iIhad nothing interesting I wanted to share with a complete stranger. For some reason he kept talking about cold sores and it kind of weirded me out. He explained the theory of life in comparison to the nasty red bump hovering over his lip. Thank god I could not see it but would I be talking to him is I could? would I be looking him right in the face? He told me about ways to remove the sore and the different ointments and creams he could order. Gross dude what the hell is wrong. He told me he could get it fixed if he wanted to at any time and just left. I was heavily Purplexed. Not just at him but what he said. He could fix the problem any time he wanted. Well I could not fix being blind, Could I?

The loud clacking of Louis A’s over grown toenails on the cold cement was not what I needed this morning. My head already hurt from my long night at the pub and the loud noise did not help. To make matters worse Louis burst out barking. Intense pain shot through my brain with each screeching bellow. I tried to calm him but with little success.
POW! An intense sound, like a mini explosion, rattled my right ear. After the sound, squealing tires sped away from the scene followed by the smell of burning rubber. What in the hell just happened? I thought to myself. Just when I thought my day and my headache could not get any worse, I hear a man screaming at the top of his lungs. Shit! Fuck! Son of a bitch! I am going to kill that motherfucker who shot me! God dammit! My first impression of this guy was god he is annoying followed by an easy understanding of why he got shot. Shit give me a gun and tell me what direction to point it in and I will shoot him. But that was the ironic part, you had to tell me the direction to point the gun. Ever since my accident all I did was follow. Sure I can think for myself but what good is that when your movement and actions all have to be monitored and closely watched.

Immediately after being taken out of the ambulance I was pushed on a cart through the hospital to the emergency room. I kept asking the doctor where my other band mates were and if they were alright. He said I would be informed on all that information after my surgery. After they had recorded all my vitals they put me to sleep, and everything went black.
I woke to the smell of greasy bacon and fried eggs; the dream fresh and still lingering in my mind. My stomach, growling for the food, could not wait to consume this fantastic breakfast. Magdelene fixed me a plate and brought it to me with a cold glass of orange juice. I loved spending the night at Magdelene’s place. She always hooked me up with a great breakfast. Although Magdelene had to leave, she told me I could stay until I felt like going. About fifteen minutes after she left, the fire alarm went off. The loud, annoying sirens buzzed in my ears. I heard scared scampering feet outside the door but I stayed seated. Ever since my accident I had contemplated suicide. I had never been strong enough to do it by my own hand, but being caught in a burning building would be a great excuse. I just sat in the chair, hallways empty, eyes open; waiting to be engulfed by the flames, but the light never came, just darkness.

A sharp turn forced my bed to quickly jerk to the left. I laid on a firm bed in a bright white box. The sound of sirens filled the enclosed space and three paramedics sat around me, asking me as many questions as pain killers they were shooting in my vain. I felt no pain but was informed I had suffered severe head trauma and multiple broken bones. One of the paramedics informed me we were on our way to the hospital; but I just nodded my head and smiled, an obvious sign that the pain killers had taken over my brain. Just before we got to the hospital I was to receive one more shot. The paramedic raised the needle….”Oh!” I shouted. The cold sharp legs of creature slowly crept up my ashy skin. I jumped from my sleep and swatted off the surprisingly large bug. I heard it scamper of to safety, hurt and limp. I took a whiff of the cold air and caught a scent of the old stale couch at the Jaguar. I guess I had gotten so drunk the night before I forgot I came back to sleep here. I got to get out of this habit, I thought to myself. I would much rather sleep over at one of my friends houses.
With all this thought over bugs and sleep I almost forgot it was the day of the week when I meet with Jacen. We like to meet at the playground and talk about life and the challenges we both face everyday overcoming blindness.
When five o’clock rolled around Louis and I walked through the light snow to the playground where I searched for my favorite park bench that moans every time I sit on it. It was not long before Jacen arrived and we immediately jumped into a conversation. I could not help but bring up my dreams of my near fatal accident. As our conversation progressed the snow picked up and I could feel the cold melted snow seeping through the fibers of my jacket. Jacen and I decided to go to the Diner and finish our conversation. As we continued talking a unified “Awe” came from the mouths of all the other customers. Jacen and I were soon informed that the power had gone out. Of course we had know idea given the fact that neither one of us could see. But the situation was quite different for me than her. I had not been blind my whole life. I knew what it was like to see. And how people don’t take it for granted until all the lights are turned off. God, if it was not for that damned drunk driver my life would be so different now.

The crowd roared with applauses as we set foot on stage at the grand Apollo Theater. The brightly colored lights, forming a halo around us, only enhanced my adrenalin. I walked over to my chair, wearing my famous purple pinstriped suit, and started playing. The beautiful chorus of all our instruments fused together filling the auditorium with awe and amazement. Our music was like that of the gods, perfect and pure. Never before had we sounded so good. When we finished the audience exploded. The clapping and cheering was the loudest the Apollo had ever heard. At the end of the night we all got into our sparkling red limo and I told my band mates after that performance we would forever live in luxury. As we all laughed and shared a drink of the finest whisky I noticed a bright pair of head lights heading for use. In an instant there was a loud crash and the lights were gone.
I slowly arose to the loud sound of sirens. I was lying on a musty coach in the Jaguar. The sirens meant a shift change for the dancers, and the manager came over to talk to me. He was concerned about me and told me I had yelled in my sleep.
“Did you have a bad dream?” he asked me. I replied with a simple no and told him it was just a painful memory. He then thanked me for my performance earlier in the evening, shook my hand, and walked away.
I got up from the stale coach, my breath still potent with the smell of cheap sour whiskey, and collected my two belongings. One, a case containing my old brass saxophone and the second an empty guitar case with a change of clothes and a few belongings left over from the tragic car accident which occurred nearly fifty years prior. Not only did the accident take away my fame and fortune but my ability to see. I grabbed my cases and slowly walked out of the building, feeling each wall to ensure I did not hit anything on the way out. As I exited my seeing eye dog, Louis A, greeted me, and we took of into the night searching for a home to crash at until morning.